Party girls and too much sex: Why some Indian men seek divorce Published duration 5 August India still has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, but marriage breakdowns are becoming more common. Atish Patel shares a few of the more unlikely examples.
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A family's honour depends in large part on the modest behaviour sharam of its female members. He alleged that she would force him to have sex, even at times when he was sick, and threatened to sleep with other men when he refused. Party pooper image captionIs a woman partying really a form of abuse?
Ruling in favour of the husband ina family court in Mumbai said the "repulsive condition of the wife is undoubtedly tragic for the wife but this is traumatic for the spouse". The minority of Sikhs who are initiated into the Khalsa commit themselves to maintaining the Five Ks and these include the kachha also called kacherawhich is a pair of shorts worn by Sikhs, both men and women, under their other clothes. A family court passed a divorce order three years ago, but in March last year, the Bombay high court overturned it.
In his petition, the man see,s his wife as having an "excessive and insatiable appetite for sex" ever since their marriage in Aprilaccording to a report by the Press Trust of India news agency. Last week, the Bombay high court overturned a family court ruling from that granted divorce to a sailor who claimed his wife's regular partying, among other things, was a form of abuse.
Apart from the eighth Guru, Guru Har Krishan, who did not live to adulthood, all the Gurus were married and all had children. The court observed that the year-old man, who married his wife inwas also in the "habit of enjoying parties", and therefore could not conclude that the fucj had subjected the man to cruelty, either Idian or mentally. Marriages are often arranged, or at least assisted, by the couple's older relatives, and any intention to marry must have parents' approval.
The kachha is considered to Indain a symbol of chastity. The man, in his 30s and married sincewas reportedly anguished by his wife's decision to often wear shirts and trousers to her workplace instead of traditional Indian clothing.
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But last year, a man in Mumbai formerly known as Bombay wanted to divorce his wife because of too much sex. According to the Gurus' teaching, one should strive to be Gurmukh centred on the Guru's teaching rather than Manmukh, ie following one's own whims. While overturning the lower court's ruling, Bombay high court Justice ML Tahaliyani noted: "Socialising to some extent in the present society is permissible.
Punjabis including Sikhs value family honour very highly.
In his divorce petition, he argued that the pimples and boils on his wife's face prevented him from consummating their marriage during their honeymoon in He said his wife's "cruel behaviour" and her "adamant, aggressive, stubborn and autocratic" nature had made it difficult for him to live with her. Fashion police image captionThe man was 'anguished' by his wife's decision not to wear Indian traditional clothes to work In another case, a man sought a divorce from his wife on the grounds of cruelty in part because of her dress sense.
Sikh teaching emphasises the importance of being Normally Lostwithiel person now lonely grihasti, ie a married person, rather than avoiding marriage. As a result, Sikhs disapprove of sex outside marriage, although men are in practice allowed more freedom than women. Acne 'trauma' image captionA man said pimples and boils on his wife's face prevented him from consummating their marriage during their honeymoon Arranged marriages remain common in India but the reason one man gave for wanting to end his union was far from usual - he complained of being traumatised by his wife's acne problem.
Because of its wide legal definition, Indian courts have had to rule on a host of bizarre interpretations of what constitutes non-physical abuse. Irresponsible sexual activity is Manmukhnot Gurmukh, and so it does not fit into a life of Sikh discipline. Initiated Sikhs know that prohibited behaviour kurahit includes adulteryie sex outside marriage.
This means that even the suggestion that a ruck woman has had a relationship with a man before marriage can result in disgrace for her parents and siblings. Last year a family court in Mumbai ruled in the husband's favour and granted a divorce after his wife failed to appear before the court, with the husband's evidence remaining unchallenged, the news report said.
But what amounts to abuse has long been open to debate, especially when determining whether psychological trauma has been afflicted on a person during marriage. The Supreme Court has said there cannot be any "strait-jacket formula or fixed parameters for determining mental cruelty in matrimonial matters". The court added: "The woman played a fraud on him by not disclosing the fact that she had a [skin] disease.
Prospective partners often meet in the presence of other family members rather than alone. Experts say most cases of divorce in India are filed on the grounds of abuse, or what's legally termed as "cruelty".
Guru Nanak regarded one of his sons as unsuited to succeed him because he had opted to live as an unmarried, celibate ascetic.